Local Kine Jokes

KAIPO GOES TO COLLEGE
Two locals, Kaipo and Kamu, stay sitting at their favorite
hangout, drinking beer. Kaipo turn to Kamu and say, "You know, I tired of going
through life without an education. Tomorrow I tink I going go to the Community
College and sign up for some classes." Kamu thinks it's a good idea
and the two leave. Next day come, Kaipo goes down to the college and meets the
dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math,English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Kaipo says. "What dat?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Yeah, I do have a house."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family?"
"I have a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yeah, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. Whoa, brah, that's amazing, you were
able to find out all of that because I get one weed eater?!"
Excited to take the class now, Kaipo shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Kamu at the bar. He tells his friend about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Kamu says, "What dat?"
Kaipo says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?"
"No."
"Then you mahu, brah."

Manoy Eleuterio
A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart. An office manager at Wal-Mart was
given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting
through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.
An American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the
four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging
Dave, the American on his right, the man replied, " A THOUGHT". It just pops
into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A
blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK
is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very
popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall
there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the
pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the
interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 frevyos ansers sirrr, et's obyus to me dat de pusstest ting known is
Diarrhea."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"O I can expleyn serrr ." said Eleuterio "YOU SEE SERR, De odder day I
wasn't peeeling bery good and I run soooo pusst to de battrroom, BUT bepore I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON DE LIGHT, I alrrreddy had de sheets in my panhts. Aysos nako!"

Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.

MOON OR FLORIDA
Two Portagees stay sitting on a bench talking story and one
Portagee says to the other:
"Which one is more far away, Florida or the moon?"
The second Portagee turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?!"

Snow at our home

According to many of the locals, this has been one of the worst winters Washington has had in a long time. I really don't mind the snow if I have no where to go, but driving in it sucks! Here's a vid of the snow at our house. This clip was just the beginning. The snow was actually worst than this.

Snowboarding at Snoqualmie

I say not bad for our first time out. The snow was slushy but it was still fun nonetheless.

Q



Bob-O



Bob-O part 2


Lil' Valdez



Me

Funny ass comedian Russell Peters

I know I'm old but while searching on YouTube I came across comedian Russell Peters. He's an a Canadian stand-up comic of Indian descent from Brampton, Ontario. Peters' comedy focuses largely around his Indian upbringing and racial stereotypes, as he often parodies his parents and South Asian culture. Much of his material explores the cultural divides between many different ethnicities and upbringings in a way that includes many impressions. I've never heard any of his comedy before the search but he's a funny ass comedian. I watched all his clips and it's all funny. Check out one of his clips. "I'm bimping." LOL. "Tapsumbong." LOL! Funny stuff, just watch.




Earn revenue from your website's traffic.

Ringtones

Aloha everybody!

If you've come across this blog, you've probably seen my Myspace page. Anyway, welcome! So let's get down to the chase. Basically I'm offering to help my close friends get the coolest ringtones on their phone. For all my local friends, isn't it cool to have the latest Hawaiian jams as your ringer? I have. I got some Kawao, Natural Vibrations, Fiji, Koa'uka, All Kine. I even got the latest Jim Jones, R-Kelly and other Hip Hop and R&B jams. My ringtones are cheap at 2 for $1. Yup for 2 quarters, 5 dimes, 10 nickels and 50 pennies, you can have the most cherriest (is that a word?) ringtones. You choose what song you want for a ringer and you'll get it instantly. Like one FREE sample?

Send me an email at spam_cb@hotmail.com with your phone number, exact model of your phone and I'll send you a FREE ringtone sample (Some phone models may be exclded)

You'll receive a text message on you phone stating something like "apache@terazima.com/Click link to download ringtone. /link: http://blahblahblah.com/content/1/808/5551234/123456.php."

Now this http address has to be word for word. So write the address down on a piece of paper. You only copy the part from the http part on. So for example you'll just write down http://blahblahblah.com/content/1/808/5551234/123456.php

For some phones, this link will be clickable. For most phones it will not. To download your sample, you will need to enter the http address in your phones web browser. Most new phones have web browsers. Please reference your phone manual for help. If you know how to access your web browser, there should be a feature where it says enter URL or Go to URL. It is here is where you will enter the enter http address. For example, my phone is T-mobile. So, I would menu button, look for t-zones, then select go to url. Then I would enter the address here. In this case that would be http://blahblahblah.com/content/1/808/5551234/123456.php then click go.
I'm brought to a page where if I scroll to the bottom it says download. Highlight download and select go. Your ringtone should download to your phone.

Easy huh? It sounds long and complicated but it's really not. Here's the rundown.

1. Send and email with your number and phone model
2. Look at text message and write down the address portion (from http to php)
3. Open phone web browser
4. Enter address
5. Download ringtone
6. Show off to your friends.

Some guys have the ringtone creators for $40 which is cool. But really guys, are you looking to spend $40 on ringtones? Good question ah?

But if you do want ringtones just every now and then and don't mind spending a buck or two then hit me up.
So if you enjoy your sample and you want more just hit me up at spam_cb@hotmail.com and we can discuss how you can purchase these ringtones.

So rememba, for one can soda from the manapua van, you can have ringtones that can make your friends all J. Haha. Shoots, mahalos for stopping by and hope to hear from you!

Awesome Seahawks finish!

What a game! For those of you who missed it, you missed one of the most exciting finishes NFL history. The heroes of this game go to Lofa Tatupu and Jordan Babineaux (shown right). Although Babineaux was blown up in the 2nd quarter, giving up a Cowboys TD, he redeemed himself by making a great TD saving tackle, one that saved the game and season for the Hawks. As for #51, he played like the Pro Bowl linebacker he is. One of the plays came late in the game when the Cowboy's Terry Glenn fumbled the ball in the endzone. The ball which was inches from dropping out of bounds was put back into play by a diving Tatupu. Although the play was called out of bounds because of Tatupu's foot barely touching the line, it was still a great effort which also set up a Seahawks TD. The next play came late in the 4th quarter. On 3rd down and near the endzone, Tony Romo completed a pass to Jason Whitten near the first down marker. Tatupu then made a great tackle, stopping Whitten just short of the first down marker. No doubt was this another season saver because if Whitten had made that first down, the Cowboys would've been in total control of the game. This was an awesome game that must be credited to the Hawks for sticking together as a team. Having the 12th man and lady luck on our side doesn't hurt either. Go Hawks!

Superbowl XLI Madden Predicition

Alright. It's playoff time. Who's the big dogs. Apparently, Madden has been used to determine the winner of the Superbowl over the past few years and it has been accurate. I want to see if this is true. I'm going to be running this test on my own and will be posting my results soon.